The greatest catch that never was can’t stop Boland dominating day one

The covers came off to reveal a pitch of deep emerald green, and at once the bowlers from both sides began salivating.

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India won the toss and chose to bat mostly out of obligation, because it’s the done thing. But it looked an awful lot like a bowling wicket, one that would excite the seamers and reward anyone able to nibble around the off stump for overs on end.

And it just so happens that Australia has one of the world’s foremost nibblers in its XI.

Scott Boland was born for wickets like this. At his pace, and with his control of length and seam position, he was near enough to unplayable on a wonderful day for the home side.

Not everything fell Australia’s way and more balls struck bodies than found edges, but the overall quality of the bowling was as high as it has been all series and proved suffocating for the Indian batters.

The only thing that could break up Boland’s relentless bowling masterclass was yet more umpiring controversy, having just got a taste for it on day five at the MCG.

The Yashasvi Jaiswal flashpoint in Melbourne was only a few days ago, but for the most part that fizzled out fairly quickly given the blindingly obvious evidence on hand. It was a semi-baked controversy of context, rather than actual content.

But this one had all the characteristics of one that could rumble on for years. Nothing gets the pulses racing like a “did it carry?” debate and when you add in the Virat Kohli factor, plus the spectacular nature of the claimed catch, you’ve got yourself a proper old squabble.

Here’s what happened, as best as we can tell.

Virat Kohli edged the first ball he faced, bowled by Scott Boland, wide and low of Steve Smith at second slip.

Smith dived and got his right hand to the ball but, seemingly instinctively realising he wouldn’t be able to complete the catch, flicked the ball back in the air towards Marnus Labuschagne who took it comfortably.

The Australians and especially Smith celebrated with an overjoyed confidence. There was no doubt in his mind he had pulled off something remarkable, but Kohli quite rightfully stood his ground and the umpire correctly referred it upstairs.

Now, there was never any doubt about what was going to happen next. The replays were always going to be almost entirely inconclusive, attempting to pinpoint an exact same frame that proved guilt or innocence while running into the same dimensional issues that always plague these reviews.

From one angle, you could be convinced Smith was under the ball the whole time. From another it may have slid out the side and brushed some grass. It was probably out, but also quite likely not. There is no possible way to be sure.

Third umpire Joel Wilson — of course he was there, inserting himself in historically fraught moments like some sort of umpiring Forrest Gump — did the safest thing he could. He gave Kohli not out.

It would have been a far more inflammatory decision to give the batter out given how genuinely difficult the call was, so in that sense Wilson’s decision was a good one. It may not have been correct, but it was at least understandable.

But as ever it’s the reaction to these decisions that is the most fun.

It was posited by many that it would have been physically impossible for Smith to flick the ball as high as he did without having his finger firmly underneath it (“the laws of physics still apply!” wrote one ABC blog commenter).

Deep in the replies to the replies to another tweet on the subject, somebody asked the question of where “the ground” actually begins. Is it the top of a blade of grass or at its intersection with the soil?

Why stop there? There are both scientific and spiritual theories that propose a total interconnection of all things. If we are one with the grass, with the ball, the wickets, the SCG grandstands, the wind and the Sun, what are the implications for MCC rule 33.2.2.1?

There was time to ponder matters of such great importance as Kohli’s innings drearily chugged along. Having spent hours fighting every natural instinct he had to nudge at one outside his off stump and nick it, he eventually nudged at one outside his off stump and nicked it.

It’s almost certain that Kohli only has one Test innings left in this country, which is more than you can say for Rohit Sharma.

After much speculation the Indian captain decided to pull a Costanza on the BCCI, and in his desperate bid for some hand insisted that he, in fact, was breaking up with them.

Both Kohli and Sharma are ending this series looking tired, beaten down and utterly scrambled in the head. Kohli at least had the century in Perth up his sleeve to ward off selection queries, which is more than could be said for Rohit.

You could add Rishabh Pant to that list too, who on Friday played his most bemusing and painful innings of the series so far.

Clearly at war with his own natural instincts, Pant had no idea what tempo his innings was meant to take. Aside from a few big swings he spent the rest of the knock doing very little of anything at all, getting peppered all over the body by deliveries both short and relatively full.

Boland inevitably drew the false shot to end his stay. There are few more explosive batters in the world when in form and with a clear mind, but at the end of this series Pant is sadly neither.

Perhaps the only thing having a rougher week than Rishabh is old mate snicko, yet again in the spotlight after Washington Sundar’s questionable dismissal.

Cummins called for a throwaway review after a short ball passed through to Alex Carey near Sundar’s gloves, but there was little confidence in the appeal. As the replays played through there were all kinds of bumps and peaks on the snicko, including one that kind of coincided with the ball passing the glove.

Umpire Wilson, fresh from a game of ping pong and a meeting with JFK, was in the hot seat again. After initially asking for the snicko to be synced up to an arbitrary replay he liked, which is not how the technology works, he decided the muffled line was enough to overrule the umpire’s decision and give it out.

Sundar wasn’t happy, and in this specific instance he had cause not to be, but on a day in which Australia’s bowlers dominated so thoroughly India could have no overall gripes about the position it found itself in.

That position was improved by the last-ball wicket of Usman Khawaja, who fell in a wonderful bit of late theatre.

Sam Konstas, having done his job in seeing out some Jasprit Bumrah brilliance while offering a bit of counter-attack as well, did all he could to waste some time in the dying stages of the day by picking an entirely meaningless fight with Bumrah from the non-striker’s end.

Konstas was successful in his mission and ensured that Bumrah’s over would be the last. Had Khawaja not edged the final ball to KL Rahul it would have been a clever bit of gamesmanship, but instead it simply opened the floodgates for India to unleash the requisite torrent of abuse at Konstas, which he dutifully accepted.

One delivery away from a near-perfect day, perhaps it was a hornets’ nest Australia didn’t need to kick. In truth, too many things had already happened on an overwhelming first day.

But it was entirely in keeping with this series that the day conclude with one final twist, one which will keep the headlines ticking over and ensure we all return again on Thursday morning stirring with anticipation at what might unfold next.