‘My grandmother lived to 112; despite cancer I’m good for a few more years’

Comment: About a year ago, a very close friend of mine told me that she had stage four cancer. I knew what it felt like to make that phone call telling friends and whānau of one’s plight because I had the same experience and, at the time, was in the middle of my treatment for stage four prostate cancer. It is not pleasant for anyone. 

I immediately invited her and her whānau to come over to my place so I could share my experience and offer my support. Part of dealing with cancer is answering the questions: “What now? What are we supposed to do?”

Her mum, dad, partner and friends came around straight away, and while it had been a tough week or so for them, it was fulfilling to turn them from: “Where shall we have the tangi? How many days shall we keep her? Where shall we put her to rest?” to “We are going to change our diet. No more negativity … we have to lift her spirits every moment. No more tears. We’ve got this.” 

I am neither a doctor nor a miracle-maker, but being positive and having key people keep you focused on the goal is half the battle. It’s wonderful that she is almost through her journey.

Thankfully, I and a few other friends have come through cancer treatments in the main except for a few pills here and a jab there. 

Are we cured? Probably not, as a seed of cancer can resprout, but there are things we can do to postpone that occurring. Changing what you put into your body and managing stress and lifestyle are critical to good outcomes.

I am happy to be doing our Smear Your Mea ride from Auckland to New Plymouth before Te Matatini in February. Over the next few months, we hope to get in front of heaps of people and share essays and articles like this to encourage women to get their smears and men to get blood tests done at the doctors. 

Smear tests can be self-administered now, and I am told it is very easy. Men, your doctor will send you for a test to check the amount of prostate-specific antigen (PSA) in your blood. You will know the results in a few days and it takes less than two minutes of your life. So many lives are lost because people find out too late. 

Go get tested. Please!

So, what about life from now on, and what are my hopes for this next year? Well, it’s pretty simple. Stay alive! And enjoy life.

It’s a strange feeling thinking about your tangi. One tends to do that when one has a life-threatening disease. In a Māori context, you get no control over who turns up and who speaks! It can be dangerous stuff as all sorts of secrets are exposed. 

One’s achievements and successes will be shared as well as nicknames, shenanigans when young, fantastic sports wins, girlfriends, and even offspring arriving that no one knew you had! Tangihanga can be very interesting, but let’s do all that while we are still alive so we can respond!

Meanwhile, the cancer treatments knock you around a bit. In my case, I have lost a fair bit of strength, but I’m not letting that get me down. Hell, who cares? Getting out in the garden or cutting the hedge has been put off a few times! They can wait.

Yes, I’m still here and planning to stick around for many more years. But you know, I don’t want to jinx it!

Some experts say cancer is triggered by trauma. I can’t argue with that. In 2025, I don’t want conflict; I want peace and tranquillity to remain calm and enjoy life. The present government could help my health by recognising and honouring the inviolable nature of the Tiriti o Waitangi and the positive gains for the country and leaving them alone! 

I want to enjoy people, have a joke or ten, not get too serious, experience some new things, and most of all, enjoy my whanau, wife, and children, especially my mokopuna. Every day with them is special. They make me very happy.

My grandmother lived to 112 years of age despite smoking like a train, though some say she didn’t inhale! That being the case, I calculate that aside from a few speed bumps here and there, I am good for another 25 years. 

My wish is for people, especially my own Māori people, to be proactive and have regular health checks and, at the very least, be tested for cancer. It is perplexing that for many of us, health is not on the radar; we don’t worry about it often till too late. 

Yet, it is one of the biggest killers of our people. Please take it seriously e te whānau. It’s all about whakapapa. Our mokopuna want us to be around longer, so help them realise their dreams.

Ko ngā mihi nui ki a koutou mo te kirihimete me te tau hou pākehā e haere ake nei.

Lesssssss gooooo!