Cosmic Catastrophe
The year draws to a close.
King Luxon has grown tired of the long evenings
Listening to the dreary squabbling of his Triumvirate.
He strolls up to the top floor of the Palace
To consult with his Astronomer Royal.
The Royal Telescope scans the skies,
And King Luxon stares up into the heavens
From the terrestrial gloom.
“What is that beautiful constellation?”
He breathes with wonder.
“That is the Fiscal Recovery Nebula
Receding before us at the speed of light, O Majesty,”
Replies the bespectacled boffin.
King Luxon adjusts the lens.
“What is that terrifying black hole
In the distance?”, he wonders aloud.
“That is the Vortex of Electoral Doom,
Which we calculate will eat our solar system
By approximately December 2026,”
Replies the polymath of vast learnings.
“Hmmm,” shivers the King uneasily.
He sweeps his viewfinder across
The firmament with its glowing dots.
“Good lord, what is that thing?”, exclaims the King.
A flaming ball of methane and ice
Hurtles towards them through the celestial night,
Looming closer by the second.
“That, O King,” admits the grim stargazer,
“Is the Fourth Quarter GDP Extinction Event
Which is fast tracking towards us
At nine trillion galactic leagues per second.”
“But this is horrible, my good fellow!” blurts King Luxon,
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Nothing,” replies The Astronomer Royal,
As he calmly decorates his Christmas Tree with tinsel,
“The Observatory has had its funding cancelled.”
