What happened in Vegas did NOT stay in Vegas!
A young man has taken to the internet for advice after a dustup with his roommate over a pop culture-inspired stunt he pulled in their apartment.
Clearly not heeding the advice right there in the title of his inspiration — Ashton Kutcher movie What Happens in Vegas, which to be fair leaves out the implied “stays in Vegas” — the man emulated said movie star’s onscreen behavior by micturating in the kitchen.
To make matters worse, the stunt was performed as an act of retaliation against his roommate’s girlfriend. Needless to say, the disgusting behavior didn’t go down well with the original poster’s (a.k.a. “OP”) housemate or his own girlfriend.
Read on to see how the internet reacted to the whole thing.
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Original Post on Reddit
OP kicked off the post with a very conversational tone, which seemed appropriate considering what he was about to divulge.
“If you have ever seen What Happens in Vegas you know exactly what I mean. It is where I got the idea,’ he began.
The young man then went on to give some background on it all.
“My roommate, Dave’s, girlfriend, Cassie, is over constantly and she hogs the bathroom every morning. I have spoken with him about it and I have brought it up to her. This is not a one time occurrence. It seems like every time she spends the night I end up having to hold my piss until I get to work. I hate it and I’m beginning to hate her.”
Then came his moment of inspiration.
The only difference is that I’m classy. I move the dishes out before I piss in the kitchen sink.
“My girlfriend and I were watching that movie the other day and it gave me the perfect solution. The only difference is that I’m classy. I move the dishes out before I piss in the kitchen sink.”
This apparently goes unnoticed for quite some time, before an aspect of his daily behavior begins to draw questions.
“A couple of days ago Dave and Cassie asked me why I was piling the dirty dishes outside the sink every morning. I was honest and said that I needed to piss and that since she had locked herself in the bathroom yet again I did what needed to be done.”
Of course, this did not go down well: “They both got grossed out and said I was being a disgusting pig and that an adult should be able to hold it. I said I would give a s–t about her opinion as soon as she paid rent here. Dave snorted. But then he went back to looking serious.”
“Now Dave is upset with me because Cassie won’t spend the night and he hates spending the night at her place because she lives with her aunt. It’s a whole thing.”
He then concluded his post by offering his own significant other’s opinion on it all: “My girlfriend thinks it’s funny but she won’t take my side. She said something funny in a movie is different in real life. But she does sympathize since she also has suffered from Cassie the bathroom hog.”
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Even More Disgusting Advice From Reddit
While pretty much no one on the AITA (am I the a–hole) forum thought OP was in the wrong, quite a few had even more twisted stunts they wished he would pull.
The highest rated comment on the post, started off innocuous enough but it soon took a sharp turn: “Frankly I think peeing in a sink is gross. Holding my pee until I get to work, or peeing myself because someone who doesn’t live there or pay rent however is so not ok. Cassie & Dave can pound sand. NTA. (And if Cassie leaves her purse or shoes laying around in the living room, I might just accidentally pee in her purse or shoes, too).”
When another Redditor doubted they would actually pee in their purse, the commenter responded: “I am a girl so it would be difficult, but it would probably teach her really quick to stop hogging the bathroom.”
If Cassie leaves her purse or shoes laying around in the living room, I might just accidentally pee in her purse or shoes, too.
While yet another advised: “Remove door. It’s a dudes only bathroom now. No guests allowed.”
When one commenter seemed perplexed and asked why he didn’t “Piss in a bottle like a normal person?” OP replied, “That is not a sentence I thought I would ever read.”
“May I suggest tennis ball cans instead of pissing in the sink?,” another Redditor suggested. “They are the favorite of detective on stakeouts, have a large mouth, a more or less hermetic seal and enough volume to accommodate enough liquids for a morning piss.”
But that wasn’t all, as there was a vindictive element to it all: “Then leave the can next to the bathroom if she is still there. They can empty it for you, or you can do it upon your return.”
Others just wanted to make sure he properly rinsed the sink down after his morning constitutional.
We did not reach out to Ashton Kutcher for comment regarding this bit of domestic drama.
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