Donald Trump’s Courtroom Nap Awakens Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert

The moment that the world learned Donald Trump had an impromptu snooze on the first day of his hush money trial, late-night TV writers everywhere rubbed their hands together in glee. “After years of anticipation, the first criminal trial of a former president has begun,” Jon Stewart began on Monday’s episode of The Daily Show. “And by all accounts, it is absolutely riveting.”

He went on to share a clip of New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman telling CNN’s Jake Tapper about the courtroom nap, which Trump’s campaign has naturally denied ever happened. (The incident itself could not be caught on camera, as those weren’t permitted in the courtroom.) “Trump appears to be sleeping. His head keeps dropping down and his mouth goes slack,” Tapper recounted, imploring Haberman to “tell us about that.” She replied, “Well, Jake, he appeared to be asleep.”

“Hey, Jake, what part of head down, eyes closed, drool coming out of his mouth do you not fucking get over here?” teased Stewart. “Imagine committing so many crimes, you get bored at your own trial.”

Before moving on, Stewart recapped what’s at stake in the Trump trial. “Now, in case you’ve lost track, this is the trial where Trump allegedly paid hush money to an adult film star that he slept with and then allegedly falsified business records to cover it up. Or as Trump would put it….,” the host said, before cutting to a clip of Trump claiming the trial was a “political persecution” and “an assault of America,” which is “why I’m very proud to be here.” Stewart concluded, “Well, it’s true: Trump is always very proud to be part of any assault on America.”

Over on The Late Show, Stephen Colbert imitated Trump’s mid-slumber musings during his monologue. “Oh my God, I was having the most terrible dream…that I had to read something,” he said in the former president’s singular cadence. “Oh no, the dream was real. But if it’s real, where’s the hamburger with boobs?”

Jimmy Kimmel also dedicated a sizable portion of Monday’s monologue to bashing Trump. “If Biden is ‘Sleepy Joe,’ I guess that makes you Doze-O the Clown,” Kimmel said. “Imagine if Joe Biden fell asleep in the court on the first day of his trial,” he continued. “Trump would calling him ‘Comatose Joe,’ Fox News would be talking about this until Christmas. But not old Donny Nappleseed.” All in all, said the late-night host, “It’s nice to see even Donald Trump is exhausted by Donald Trump.”