DEAR ABBY: Relationship reaches two years without a meetup

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DEAR ABBY: I am a gay man who matched with another guy on a dating site two years ago this month. At first, we texted constantly. No one has ever made me feel the way he made me feel through texting alone. He displayed qualities that set him apart from anyone else I have talked to. We made a date, but he cancelled at the last minute because of cold feet. He requested more time to get to know each other before meeting.

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For the past two years, we have continued to message each other, though not nearly as often. He says he very much wants to meet, but says he’s intimidated by my accomplishments in life and is convinced I won’t like him. (Abby, he is more accomplished than most of the guys I date.)

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I have tried desperately to convince him to meet me so we may both find out if we are a good match. In the meantime, I continue to date other guys because I want to find someone to share my life with. But I refuse to put my life on hold in a vain hope that we might someday meet.

However, my desire to meet him overshadows most of my attempts to date others. His statements that he badly wants to meet me but is afraid to do so is incredibly frustrating. Should I block him from contacting me further so I might focus on looking for someone else? Or should I keep doing what I’ve been doing? — FRUSTRATED IN KENTUCKY

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DEAR FRUSTRATED: There may be a logical reason why this relationship has not progressed. The man with whom you are communicating may not at all be who he says he is. Because you have invested so much time and emotion in trying to meet him, offer him one more chance to meet.

Tell him that if he can’t bring himself to do that, you are ending the relationship and will block him from contacting you further. Then follow through. Consider it to be taking a giant step forward in your life. You deserve better than the teasing you have been receiving.

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DEAR ABBY: It seems that doctors’ offices have it set up to automatically send you emails and/or text messages to confirm your appointments. It is convenient, but they send them repeatedly, starting a week or two prior to the appointment. Why? It seems like overkill to me. Once should be enough, unless they feel we’re unable to remember when we have an appointment.

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Before the internet, we made our next appointments, if required, at the doctor’s office upon leaving and were given a card showing date and time. That was all we got! You marked it on your calendar at home, and life went on. Abby, do you agree with my frustration? — BLUNT GUY IN NEVADA

DEAR BLUNT GUY: No, I do not. Sometimes folks forget to enter that information into their calendar and the result is that the medical and dental professionals get stood up. If the reminders become annoying, you can always delete them when they pop up. If this is your biggest problem, consider yourself lucky.

— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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